Water's Edge
by Wintermourne
Summary: The war is over and Draco is struggling to make up for a past he didn't want. Working to help others he runs across a certain brunette witch who's horrors he helped create. Rated M for later chapters that aren't written yet.
1. Chapter 1- The River

Chapter 1 – The River

I looked up from the shelf in shock. I hadn't heard that voice in years. I didn't know what to do. I'd grown up hating her, she was supposed to be filth. But she continually bested me in everything. Now, after the war. The memories of her torture stung me. She was strong, that I couldn't deny. She had been at my trial with Potter. Supporting him when he spoke for my mother and I. I felt like my head was spinning. Unsure what to think or do I put the book down and fled from the store.

I heard the bell go off as I left, and I hurried down the street in case she noticed me. Absorbed in my thoughts my feet unconsciously carried me to the Leaky Cauldron. I wanted to go down Knockturn alley where I wouldn't be followed or starred at, but last time someone had seen me there and it was splashed across the news. Mother had had a fit. I sighed and sat at the bar, starring at my fire whiskey like it would suddenly talk and explain to me what I should feel or do.

My mind kept returning to the memories of Bella cackling as she carved that word into Hermione's arm. I suddenly felt sick. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up. When I came back Tom glared at me, like he thought I'd been trying to rush out without paying. I stood up straight despite the turning of my stomach, over paid for my drink and left.

When I got home I paced around my room, trying and failing not to think of the things that had happened during the war. Deciding to sleep it off I went to bed. That night I dreamt of it, again. Dreamt that I was back in that moment, terrified for my Mother. Afraid of my aunt, of what anyone in the house might do to anyone without a moment's notice. Seeing myself in the mirror and only recognizing a ghost of myself. The constant stress had made me look sickly.

I'd begun silently praying that Potter would turn up and conquer the Dark Lord soon. I tried not to think of it, the Dark Lord seemed able to read minds, but it became my hope in the middle of hell. Then I saw the golden trio being marched in, and I felt sick that their side was now lost, and this horror would be the rest of my life. Felt sick when Bella picked Hermione and started carving into her flesh, torturing and her laughing. Hermione started screaming.

My eyes flew open and I sat bolt up in bed. My breathing was fast and my heart felt sore from pumping so quickly. I felt confused and looked around my room, finally realizing that it had been a dream. It wasn't real anymore. I felt sweaty. I looked down and saw that the sheets were tangled around my feet. Clearly my unrest wasn't just mental. I angrily pulled the sheets off myself and stalked off to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face and I still saw that ghost in the mirror, barely clinging to his former self. I suddenly felt an overwhelming need to make up for my past, for the horrors I had seen and done. But what? What could possibly make up for all my terrible deeds that all my donations to charities hadn't already?

Frustrated, feeling sick and exhausted, I showered and left the manor. I hated the manor now. My happy memories from childhood were all tarnished from the war. If it weren't for mother's inexplicable love of the place I'd have burned the thing down the minute the war ended. I'd have left it long ago if I had anywhere to go to. Lost and upset I apparated to the wizarding memorial park that just opened up. I'd heard a rumor that Longbottom ran the place.

I wandered through the willows, found a bench and starred at the river. I started picking weeds and chucking pieces into the water. Watching them float away. If only life were so simple and I could tear the bad parts of me out and set them afloat down river. I found myself thinking of how cleansing to would be to float in the river. The water drowning out all other noise, running along your skin. Closing your eyes and just letting the water take you. Unconsciously, I moved closer to the water's edge. I didn't realize it until a voice startled me.

"The park's closed. Malfoy?" I looked over and saw Potter staring at me. His expression one of confusion. "What are you doing so close to the river?"

I took a few steps back, "Happy now?"

"What are you doing here? The park's closed." He was staring at me, I saw him take in my appearance and frown.

"What's the chosen one doing on park duty? Don't you have a baby to kiss somewhere?" The comment had no bite to it, I was too tired.

Potter looked even more concerned now, "Look, Malfoy, it's late. Why don't you go home? Go to bed." I flinched at the thought of going back to the manor, "Or you could come back to my place with me." Potter sounded like he regretted the words as he was saying them.

But it managed to get my attention, "What?"

"You don't look in the best shape mate. You can sleep on my couch, Ginny's at her mother's for the weekend. And then I won't have to come back and drag your lifeless body out of the river."

I rolled my eyes, I wasn't going to kill myself. _Really?_ I thought to myself, _then why'd you walk right for the river_. Mad at myself, and mad at Potter for thinking I need his help I spun on him, "Like I need _your_ charity. Your place probably smells so bad of Weasel I'd be washing my clothes for weeks."

I spun and apparted back to the manor. I stood starring at the building, trying to will myself to go inside. Instead, I turned around and walked down to the muggle village. By the time I got there it was 7 in the morning and the people were getting ready and bustling about. I suddenly felt jealous of them, they lead such simple lives, no ghosts of a past they couldn't right. Just as I resigned myself to going back to the manor, hopefully before I passed out on the street from exhaustion, I saw a little girl skipping along the sidewalk. As I watched, she tripped and scraped her knee. She was crying and I realized that I wanted to help her.

And I smiled, for the first time since I could remember. A genuine smile. I knew how to make up for my past. I would become a healer.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Hospital

Chapter 2- The Hospital

"Alright healers, listen up." Healer Rodriguez put her hand on her hip and starred us down. She reminded me of a young McGonagall, "I know you are only resident's right now but we are swamped today so each of you are going to take your own patients. I am going to go from room to room to check on each of you. None of your patients are allowed to leave without me approving your diagnosis. Are we clear?"

We all nodded. I went for the first room on my left. I grabbed the file and had the door partially open before I had read the name of the patient.

"Malfoy?" The voice sounded shocked, "What on Earth are you doing here?"

My stomach dropped and I took a deep breath trying to steady myself. My eyes immediately went to her arm and all the feelings of guilt and shame I'd been working so hard to atone for rushed back. _Focus on your job Draco_ , "Good morning Miss Granger, I believe that's what I'm supposed to be asking you."

"What?" She looked confused, and like hell. There were deep bags under her eyes, she seemed thinner, and her hair was even frizzier, if that was even possible.

I pulled at my lab coat, "I'm your healer today." I pointed at my name tag, "See? Healer Malfoy."

She looked at me like she'd just seen a pig fly, "Oh." She shifted uncomfortably.

"So how can I help you today?" She instantly looked even more uncomfortable and bit her lip. I sighed, I could tell she wasn't going tell me anything, she didn't trust me. "Look, Hermione. I'm not the guy I was growing up. I genuinely want to help you. And if right now that means I get up and find you a different healer then I can do that for you."

She starred at me incredulously, "You genuinely want to help _me_?"

"Don't be so self centered." I teased, "I didn't go through a healing apprenticeship just to help _you_. In 30 minutes I'm sure some pretty young witch will come in and I can swoop in and save her too. Except I might get a phone number from her." Granger scoffed and crossed her legs. She looked like a pretzel.

A few seconds passed before I spoke, "Granger are you going to let me help you or not?" I was beginning to be irritated, the hospital was full of people and I didn't want to waste time bantering. The silence was also giving me too much time to remember how she got that scar.

She looked at me for a moment, bit her lip and looked at the floor as she said, "I've been having bad dreams."

I nodded and opened her file. It wasn't very descriptive but it was a start, "Tell me about them."

She took a deep breath and picked a point on the wall to talk to, "I've always had them, since the war. They weren't all that frequent, but it happened often enough that Ron got used to it and started being able to sleep through it." I frowned, no one should have to be alone through night mares. I felt annoyed at the Weasel for making her suffer alone, hadn't she been through enough? "The doctor I saw then said it was post-traumatic stress and the dreams would go away. They did get less frequent for a time. Maybe once every 4-5 months? But lately… it's been every night. Every time I close my eyes I-"

I looked up at her from my notes to see her look away from me. I couldn't tell the look she had on her face. Shame? Embarrassment? "Every time you close your eyes you're… back in the dream?"

She looked up at me, her exhaustion clearly showing. I felt worried for her, my mind already going through the dreamless sleep potions I could give her. She nodded, looking at the wall again. "What's your dream about?"

She bit her lip and hung her head, "We were in a war Malfoy. What do you think it's about?" She bit back.

I frowned at her sudden harshness, "Hermione, if I'm going to help you I need you to tell me a little more about the dream."

She had tears in her eyes and her lip trembled. She sat up tall and looked me right in the eyes, and I couldn't help but admire her a little for it. "Fine," She said, "The dream is about your aunt… and the manor."

"Oh," I felt like someone had hit me in the stomach with a bat. Unconsciously I sat up straighter. She looked at the spot on the wall again and blinked rapidly. I opened my mouth and closed it. I was at a loss for what to do. Comfort her? Tell her I'm sorry? I felt disgusted with myself, nothing I could say would make this better.

Without realizing I had chosen to speak I heard myself saying, "I've had that one too."

Now she really looked surprised, "Seriously?"

Numbly I nodded. Then I shook my head, bringing myself back to the present, and I cleared my throat, "I'll recommend some potions to give you a dreamless night. I want you to use them every night until you feel well rested again. But these dreams clearly aren't going away. I think you should make an appointment upstairs with one of the mental health healers. They'll be able to help you face what's bothering you. The dreams will never go away if you don't deal with what happened to you." My eyes went back to her scar. I suddenly realized she didn't cover it up, she was clearly bright enough to learn a cover spell. She chose to display it. I didn't have time to decide if I thought that was brave or idiotic before Healer Rodriguez knocked and opened the door. After she read my notes and heard my recommendation she gave her stamp of approval and moved on to the next room.

Hermione waited until the door was closed again, "She reminds me of McGonagall."

I chuckled, "That's what I said." I wrote out the names of the potions for her to look for, "If you still can't sleep tonight after taking these, or if you aren't feeling rested in a week, please come back and ask for me. I want to make sure you get a good night sleep again." I handed her the paper and my fingers brushed hers. When she didn't jump away immediately from my touch my heart lightened, maybe I wasn't completely horrible.

Hermione smiled and looked away as she gathered her things, "Thank you."

I felt sad watching her walk out of the room. I wanted to make sure she got the help she clearly needed. I owed her at least that.


	3. Chapter 3 - With a Bit of Luck

Chapter 3 – With a bit of Luck

It had been a week since Hermione had come to the hospital, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wanted to help, to make sure she was okay. I'd even snuck a peak at the appointment book to make sure she was coming back to see the mental health healer. The closer it got to her appointment the more I tried to think of excuses to be in the atrium for a while. Just to make sure she looked better.

Luck was apparently on my side for the first time in my life. Just as I entered the hallway Healer Fletcher stopped me to ask my opinion on his patient. That first day had gone so well Healer Rodriguez had kept us seeing different patients permanently. As he was babbling on I looked up and saw Granger in the Atrium. She looked amazing. Her hair was tamed, and she looked full with life again. She turned and saw me, after a second she gave a small wave. I nodded to her and turned back to Fletcher. He glanced down the hallway and saw her turn away, tucking her hair behind her ear as she was told to go sit down and wait for her healer.

"Go talk to her." Fletcher nudged.

I frowned, "Excuse me?"

Fletcher rolled his eyes, "You've been distracted all morning. Now she's here and you can't stop peeking into the Atrium to look at her."

I stood up taller and starred down at Fletcher, "I'll have you know that she is my patient and I simply wish to know if the potions I prescribed are working."

"Then go ask her. I'll ask Healer Rodriguez about my patient." I frowned at Fletcher, he sighed, "If what you want to know is purely professional then I don't see why you can't go chat with her for a second."

I thought about it. She probably hated the sight of me, but I had been distracted all morning and I had my other patients to think about. "You're right. I will simply go ask her if she's feeling any better." I ignored the strange twisting feeling in my stomach telling me I didn't deserve to be near her, and set out for the atrium. I spotted her instantly across the room and headed for the seat beside her. I nearly laughed out loud when I realized she was reading. Who brings a book to a hospital? "Good afternoon miss Granger."

She jumped and looked up at me, "Geez Malfoy you scared me."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. I just wanted to come check on you."

She looked incredulous again, "Check on _me_?"

"Well you are my patient," I pointed out nervously, "you look like you're doing better." I looked her over now that I was closer, the bags under her eyes were still there but at least not as noticeable. The bruised color gone, thank god.

She nodded, "Yeah, it's amazing how a few good night's sleep can change your whole perspective."

I nodded, remembering my own nightmares. Not that they had completely gone away, but since I started studying as a healer they had become less and less frequent. I saw a Healer walking over reading a chart, "Granger?" She called, looking around the room for her.

Hermione began gathering her things, "Well, thanks for checking up on me. See you around Draco." She got up and walked off with the healer. I sat in shock, she'd never called me Draco before. After a few seconds I got up and went back to the walk in clinic. Fletcher grinned at me with a knowing smile. I glared at him.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Leaky Cauldron

Chapter 4 – The Leaky Cauldron

I occasionally saw Granger waiting for her healer. Sometimes we'd just wave to each other. A few times I'd go see how she was doing and we'd chat for a minute. I found out that she worked at the department for magical law. When she told me I rolled my eyes.

"So typical of the golden trio. Hey, we just finished a war! You know what would be great? Let's do it again, let's be aurors!" I mocked.

Needless to say she didn't take my mocking well.

I'd grown fond of our chats, but I hadn't seen Granger in almost two weeks. I was starting to worry. I'd even checked the appointment book and found nothing. She'd only been coming here for 2 months, there was no way she was healed already. I found myself getting annoyed at her healer for their incompetence. I'd noticed my mood slipping but didn't realize how grumpy I'd become until I had a meeting with Healer Rodriguez.

"Malfoy, sit." She gestured to the chair opposite her desk, "Look Malfoy. You are one of our best resident's, and clearly you will be a fantastic Healer one day. Your work ethic is astounding. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you liked work better then home." She paused there, looking for a reaction. I almost smiled at her antics, did she really think she could get to me if Voldemort hadn't? She continued, "But you're stomping around biting people's heads off. I know you come from money and are used to doing what you want, but this is a work place. I'd really like it if my staff didn't cringe every time you entered a room."

I tried not to look mad, like money had anything to do with how I acted, "I am simply pointing out people's flawed work. If they didn't want to hear about it then they should have done it right."

She sighed, "No one is perfect Malfoy. Why do you think I'm talking to _you_? Your attitude stinks. I think something happened, but there's a snowballs chance in hell you'll talk to me about it. So I'm giving you the rest of the week off to get your head right. And this includes your volunteer time on the weekend."

My stomach dropped, if I had time off Mother would expect me at the manor. "What if I promise to not talk to anyone instead?"

Rodriguez looked taken aback, "Excuse me?"

"I'll apologize to everyone, and not talk to them for the rest of the week. I promise."

She rubbed her face, "I'm giving you time off. Without you asking for it. And you're begging me to work? Malfoy you need to rest! If you keep working like you have you'll get burnt out. Go have a life, make a date, drink some beer, life isn't just about work."

I starred at her, stunned into silence. She was really making me go home, "Oh." I said, hearing my own defeat. I stood up and walked out. As the door closed I could have sworn I heard her mumble something about feeling like she'd kicked a puppy.

Not wanting to go back to my apartment, as if that would prove Rodriguez right somehow, I headed for the leaky cauldron. _'Make a date, drink a beer_.' Her voice mocked me as I sat at the bar. Make a date? With who? My mind went to Granger and I scoffed. A date with a mud-a muggleborn? , Mother would be furious and that thought made me grin. It'd be payback for all those years I'd been forced to live in the manor. Technically the ministry forced me to stay there, but if it hadn't been for her and father insisting I join the Dark Lord then I never would have been in that situation. I shook my head, I must really be going crazy if I was even considering it.

I'd been drinking a little while, my head spinning the whole time, before I heard, "Draco?" I downed my fire whiskey and turned to see Blaize Zabini walking towards me. "Wow, it really is you. You look like crap." I laughed and nodded at Tom to pour me another drink. Zabini nodded at Tom too and got a drink of his own.

"Any reason we're drinking tonight?" Zabini asked.

I sighed, if I hadn't already been 4 drinks in I would have told him to go away. As it was I was tired, confused, and my head was starting to feel fuzzy. Fire whiskey was some powerful stuff. "I was told to take vacation from work for the rest of the week."

"Work?" Zabini looked shocked.

I smirked as I took a sip of the new drink, "Yeah, maybe you've heard of it."

Zabini chuckled at my teasing, "Not exactly, but I definitely didn't think that you had."

Feeling the Malfoy pride surface I puffed out my chest a little and said, "Hey, I have an astounding work ethic thank you very much."

"Oh really?" Zabini looked sceptical, "Then why were you told to take a vacation?"

"Well," I started as I turned to look at him, "it turns out that when you inform people they are doing their job wrong, they get a little pissy about it."

Zabini snorted, "Still a Malfoy I see then. Everything has to be the best, and those that are beneath you need to know it."

I frowned, "They aren't beneath me Zabini. We're healers, if something goes wrong someone could get hurt. I'm not letting patients get hurt in my hospital."

I continued to frown at him and then burst out laughing. I saw Zabini lean forward and tell Tom something, and suddenly my drink was gone. "Hey!" I exclaimed.

"Come on man, you've clearly had enough. Let me take you home."

I frowned and faced Zabini, "What is with everyone telling me what to do today? I am a _Malfoy_ remember? I tell _you_ what to do. So sit down and have another drink with me."

I turned back around on my stool and tried to grab Tom's attention. Just then I saw the golden trio walk in the door. My gaze instantly went to Hermione, checking her to see if she was okay. Blaze saw where my attention had suddenly shifted to and his eyes went wide.

"Oh we _so_ need to get you home." He muttered under his breath, "Potter and Weasley _can not_ see you looking at her like that."

I glared at Zabini, "I am not looking at her in any one particular way you idiot. I'm her _healer_ , I'm just making sure she's okay."

Zabini scoffed, "So you do this for all your patients then? Stare worriedly after them like some kind of lost puppy?"

I got mad and unknowingly raised my voice, "Goddammit Blaize I am a grown goddamn man and I will not stand hear and listen to you talk to me like this!" I stormed out of the bar, unaware that I had attracted the attention of the trio. Three pairs of eyes watched me storm off, clearly drunk.

I hadn't even made it three buildings over before I heard a soft voice calling me, "Draco, wait!" I sighed loudly and turned to see Hermione jogging up to me, "Are you okay?" She looked worried.

I starred at her, there were bags under her eyes again. "Am I okay?! Look at you! You clearly haven't slept well and you've stopped seeing your healer!" I yelled, "I mean you just stop showing up, no explanation. How was I supposed to know how you were doing?!" I ran my hands through my hair, pulling at it a little.

She watched my action and then spoke quietly as I paced around the sidewalk, "I'm swamped at work and my healer and I were communicating through owl. Besides, I'm a mudblood-"

I spun on her and spat, "Don't you dare say that word." She looked taken aback and I instantly felt guilty. Angry at myself I sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, covering my face with my hands. I felt sick.

After a second she walked over and sat down beside me, placing her hand on my shoulder, "Why does it matter to you if I'm okay?"

I looked at her and pain cut through me at the thought of how awful I had been to her as a child, all the hate that sparked the war. "Because it's my fault."

She looked confused, "What?"

I growled in frustration, how was she this slow tonight? "My aunt- Bella. She-" I couldn't say the words, I felt sick and put my head between my knees. "It's my fault." I whispered miserably to the ground.

"Draco… There was nothing you could have done. They would have killed you, or at least have given you a scar like mine." She leaned over and hugged me, and rubbed my back. I felt tears start to build in my eyes, and I was suddenly furious. How could she be kind to me? Stupid girl, didn't she see I didn't deserve it? I stood up and glared down at her, "Don't touch me."

She looked hurt at my sudden venom. Angry at myself for hurting her and confused by my anger I stormed away, aware in some part of my mind that I had no idea how to get home from here.


	5. Chapter 5 - Grimauld Place

Chapter 5 – Grimauld Place

Potter found me asleep in the park that night. I felt something nudging me. I swatted at it and rolled over. It nudged harder, and I ignored it, then I felt a stinging curse in my foot. Angry, I sat up and glared at the offender.

"Malfoy, go home." He said warily.

"Do you have perpetual park duty Potter?" I spat at him, "I'd really have thought after taking on the Dark Lord you'd have a better title then park night guard."

He sighed, "We all switch off. You just seem to be here the few times a year I actually am on duty here." I glared at him. "Go home Malfoy." Potter said. He sounded exhausted.

I rolled my eyes, "I don't know if you remember this potter but I'm drunk so I can't apparate. Therefore I'm stuck here. So just go home and let me sleep."

Potter ran his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated, "Malfoy, if I leave you here and you die of exposure I will feel bad. A little less so when I remember how you treated Hermione tonight, but I'm sure the sight of Narcissa weeping will pull on a few emotions. You're sleeping on my couch."

Before I could react Harry grabbed my arm and apparated us to his house. I crashed down in the entry way. I was about to yell but Potter covered my mouth with his hands and said, "One of the black ancestor's portraits will screech bloody murder if you wake her. And if you wake the baby Ginny will kill you and I won't be able to stop her. Got it?"

Memories of the weaselette's hexes from school made me hold my tongue. I shoved Potter off me and stood. I wobbled a little but followed Potter to a room with a couch. He transfigured me a blanket and left for bed without another word. I considered leaving but I had no place else to go. I couldn't apparate in my current state and I had no idea where Potter lived. I could be miles from anything. Irritated but not seeing another choice I laid down with the blanket. It didn't take long before I was out cold.

I woke in the morning to something grabbing my nose. Startled, I shot awake with my wand in hand. And saw a baby. It was barely able to stand and was holding onto the couch to support itself. Calming down I placed the wand back on the couch. I remembered Potter saying something about a baby last night. This must be his. The black hair was certainly a good indication.

"Hello." I said to it. It just stared at me, then plopped back onto the floor and started to crawl away.

"James?" I heard a female call, a little worriedly, "James? Where have you crawled off to?"

Assuming she meant the baby I yelled back that he was in here. I winced at the volume of my voice. I was rubbing my head when Ginny entered the room. I saw her smirk at me and then go scold James for wandering off.

"Any chance you could keep your voice down? Or bring me a hangover potion?" I groaned and rubbed at my temples.

Ginny smirked, "I'm sorry Malfoy but we're out." She purposefully spoke loudly. "Harry told me he found you passed out drunk in the park last night. In my opinion, if you're going to drink like an idiot then you should suffer like one."

"Luckily I don't need your opinion." I muttered and I stood up, intending to leave, and felt my pulse pound through my head. Feeling nauseous I sat back down and groaned.

I was distantly aware of Ginny cooing to her son. I felt intrusive, I didn't belong near this happy family. Unfortunately, my stomach was doing some threatening rolls and I couldn't leave quite yet. I was so focused on breathing and trying to keep all liquids inside my body that I didn't notice when Ginny snuck out. Suddenly a bowl of beige goo was under my face. I looked up to see Ginny offering me the bowl. Afraid the effort of talking would make me sick I looked back to the floor and shook my head. I heard a deep sigh.

"Look at all the trouble mommy goes through for riff raff like him." Ginny said to James. He gurgled happily on her hip in response. "This is oatmeal. Harry used to make it for me when I got drunk at a party after a game. I've added honey and ginger, it makes it taste better and will help settle your stomach."

I glanced at it and mumbled, "It looks like it came from my stomach." Ginny grumbled something about hard work and carried James off. The bowl was left beside me, and I honestly was hungry. I took a few tentative bites. It didn't take long before for the whole bowl was gone and my stomach was actually settling down. Wanting to thank Ginny for her generosity, I wandered out of the hallway and realized I was in the old black house. Potter had said something about it last night but I recognized it from mother's stories of the elf heads on the wall. I assumed they were put up with a permanent sticking charm, otherwise Potter would have taken them down by now. I wondered briefly how he'd inherited it while I looked around.

Remembering Potters warning about the portraits I walked quietly through the hallways. I finally found some stairs down to the kitchen and arrived just in time to see James fall off his chair. He hit the floor with a hard thud and immediately started crying. Ginny whorled around, panic clearly evident on her face. She saw James on the floor and rushed to pick him up.

"Wait!" I said just as she reached him.

She glared at me with her hands on the sides of her son, "Give me one good reason I should."

"I'm a healer." She looked sceptically at me while I came over and crouched down beside them. I grabbed my wand from my pocket.

She grabbed my arm, "You do anything that hurts my son in anyway and I will dance as I bleed you onto this floor." Her look didn't waver.

I swallowed and nodded, "Noted." I ran some diagnostic spells on him. "It looks like he'll be fine. Just a bump to the head. You can pick him up now." I added.

The second I finished the words her hands shot out and wrapped around her son. Cradling him to her chest. Potter rushed in then with his wand out. He stopped as he surveyed the scene, "What happened?"

Ginny was upset, "James got out of his chair again. But this time he fell."

Potter rushed over to check his son, "Is he hurt?"

"Malfoy says it's just a bump, I'm gonna take him to St. Mungo's for some extra tests though. Just to be sure."

Potter nodded and kissed his wife on her head, "Use the flew, I'll come as soon as I can. Shacklebolt has asked to see me this morning, so I have to pop by his office quickly." Potter looked sternly over at me, "How sure are you that it's just a bump?"

I rolled my eyes, "Relax Potter, kids fall all the time." His fist tightened over his wand so I quickly continued, "He cried right away, a good sign. I did some spells and nothing bad turned up. If he's anything like you he's got such a hard head that a few bumps won't hurt anything." I stood with my arms crossed.

He glared at me before turning to his wife. The Potter's had a gushy good bye, I suppressed the urge to gag, and then wife and child were gone. Potter got some food and asked, "So what are you still doing here?"

Feeling annoyed I snapped, "You're welcome for making sure your child wasn't dying."

Potter looked up, clearly annoyed, "You're a healer, you took an oath to help people. Or does that definition not extend to blood traitors like my son?"

I flinched at the accusation and deflected, "How do you know I'm a healer?"

"Hermione told me."

"Oh," I felt like an idiot for not realizing she'd have told him, "How-" I hesitated, unsure if I should ask. I sighed and plowed on, "How is she?"

Potter looked up from his breakfast, "You want to know how _Hermione's_ doing?"

I put on a sneer and threw his words back at him, "I'm a _healer_ Potter I took an oath to help people."

Potter glarred at me for a minute, watching me tense under his gaze. He put down his oatmeal and crossed his arms, "She's doing okay. She wasn't particularly happy after last night when you basically bit her head off for touching you. Still can't stand to get mudblood germs on your jacket can you?"

I flinched, "Don't say that word." Potter stared at me, shocked. I could see him thinking, trying to understand my behaviour. "Listen, the only reason I'm still here was because I wanted to thank you and your wife for giving me a place to crash, and the oatmeal this morning." Potter really looked floored now, "But next time you have a visitor make sure to close your living room door. Not everyone appreciates being woken up by a toddler sticking their finger up your nose."

Potter burst out laughing. I rolled my eyes at him, turned around and left the house.


	6. Chapter 6 - The Manor

Chapter 6 – The Manor

After cleaning myself up at my apartment I received a summons to dinner from Mother. I sighed, I knew it wouldn't take long for her to find out I had time off. Only a few hours later found me standing outside the manor. I'd managed to stay away for a whole 4 months this time, a new record. I was just convincing myself to walk up to the house when a house elf appeared beside me, sent by Mother, informing me in no uncertain terms that my presence was requested _inside_ the house, and not merely on the grounds.

I practically growled out a sigh as I marched up to the house. Mother's favorite bottle of wine in my hand. She greeted me at the door delighted, like she hadn't sent an elf to harass me just 30 seconds before. She looked genuinely happy about the wine though. She pulled me into the library, she knew better then to try to get me into the parlor.

When I saw that Mother had invited her old friends and their remaining unmarried daughters I want to turn right around and walk out. Unfortunately, I'd done that once before and this time she had kept her hand on my elbow. When I made to pull away she dug in her nails into my arm. I was trapped. She sat me down next to two young girls who immediately began chattering away about how noble it must be to be a Healer.

I thought about telling them all the gory details of my job. Some of the worse infections I had had to treat. I smirked at the thought. Which the girls incorrectly interpreted as a sign of my interest in their conversation. The evening seemed to drag on forever. A few times I made attempts to escape, claiming I heard an owl scratching or pretending my throat was sore. Each time Mother foiled my plans and I was forced to eat an entire 8 course meal stuck listening to the girls each fawn over me. Clearly trying to squirm their way into the Malfoy fortune.

After what had felt like an eternity the guests were gone and it was just Mother and I left. I was sitting beside the fireplace in the library reading. It was one of my favorite places in the manor. Mother grabbed a book and sat next to me. It was quite peaceful. Just as I was beginning to relax and start to think that I should visit more often, Mother spoke.

"Which one did you like?"

I groaned, "Mother please." I spoke with an irritated tone, hoping she would drop the subject and we could actually enjoy some time together.

"Don't 'Mother please' me. You're a grown man and you aren't even dating anyone! How do you suppose you'll sire an heir on your own?"

I had to hold back the urge to make an inappropriate comment, "Mother. I don't like any of these vapid women you thrust at me. They are all boring and just want my money."

"Well what do you expect?! All the respectable women of your age have already been married off!" She ranted.

I finally put my book down at looked Mother in the eyes, "You mean the pure bloods."

She looked away, "No. I mean the ones with good breeding. The ones who know what it would mean to be a Malfoy."

"You can't even look at me. You keep trying to shove what little pure bloods are left at me, that aren't so close in relation that your grandchildren would develop webbing, and you can't even admit it!" I studied her proud face for a moment, she wasn't listening to me, "Father is _dead_ Mother." She flinched at my sudden harsh tone, "Dead because of his values and beliefs. Are you so narrow minded that you wish to follow him right to the grave? Did the war really teach you nothing? Do you not remember the terror that we all felt when the Dark Lord was here? Because I remember it every night. Watching as they-" I couldn't say they words. Couldn't speak of all the horrors that I'd seen over the years. I snapped my mouth shut, trying to contain my emotions, trying to block out the memories of what I had done.

Mother placed her hand on my arm, "Draco-"

I jumped up, "It's late Mother, I need to go." I said, as I stepped up to the fireplace, grabbed a handful of floo powder, and went home.


	7. Chapter 7 - Ice Cream

Chapter 7 – The Ice Cream

Time off was not my friend. It was only a few hours since breakfast and I already couldn't stand my apartment. It didn't feel like a home. It was the penthouse of a building near the hospital. I'd wanted something smaller but Mother wouldn't hear of it, Malfoy's only had the best. She'd decorated it as well. It was very minimalistic, and plain. The walls were all whites and greys, the shelving and furniture all black. I suddenly wanted color, and clutter. My mind went back to Potter's house. There had been toys and pictures all over their living room. I suddenly wanted that. Not just pictures and personal objects, I wanted someone to care if I came home instead of volunteering at the hospital every weekend. I wanted a son to love me like I had loved my Father before, despite all I'd done. I heard a little voice in the back of my head telling me that I didn't deserve it.

Distraught, I apparated outside Flourish and Blotts. I wanted a distraction and I refused to be at Potter's mercy again. I looked desperately at the shelves, not knowing what I was looking for but needing something to take the pain away.

"Draco?" A soft voice called. I froze, stood up straight and turned.

"Hello Miss Granger."

She looked wary, "Hello Draco. You're looking better."

I nodded once, "Time has a way of curing drunkenness."

She looked uncomfortable, "Could we talk? We could get ice cream, my treat."

I frowned and glanced idly at the shelves, "I don't need your pity ice cream Granger."

She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes, "For Merlin's sakes Malfoy, it isn't a pity ice cream. You can buy your own ice cream if that'll make you feel better. I just wanted to talk to you."

My stomach twisted at her words. Why would she want to talk to me? I immediately wondered if her nightmares were returning, or if she'd been reacting to any of the potions. I looked her over but saw no indication she wasn't feeling well.

Still feeling concerned for her I nodded, "But I buy the desserts." She led the way down the street. I chose not to comment that her mint chocolate ice cream was green, clearly a non-Gryffindor sanctioned color. We didn't talk until we were sitting in a secluded corner of the shop.

"So is vanilla your favorite?" Hermione asked.

I looked up at her and raised my eyebrows, "You dragged me all the way down here and made me buy you ice cream so you could ask what my favorite flavor is?"

She looked offended, "I offered to buy _you_ ice cream and _you_ insisted that _you_ pay!"

I smirked, she was still so easy to rile up. Such a Gryffindor.

She huffed, realizing what I'd done. "No," She said, "I wanted to ask you if you're okay."

I froze, "Excuse me?" I asked quietly.

She plowed on, unaware of my mood, "Well you got smashed the other night. Then you freaked out at me and tried to sleep in the _park_? You were nice to Harry and Ginny and helped with James. And Harry said you looked like you wanted to hit him when he said mudblood-" I flinched, "See!" She exclaimed, "Malfoy, every time I'm at St. Mungo's you're there. You can't burry yourself in your work and expect everything to be fine. _You_ told me that I wouldn't get better unless I faced what happened to me. Well neither will you."

I was furious, I wanted to tell her to mind her own business and that she had no right to speak to me. But with her last words she place her hand over mine. And it felt so good to have someone comfort me. I closed my eyes. This was so close to what I had been wanting this morning. To have someone care about me. But then I realized she was only helping me because I'd helped her. She felt indebted to me, she didn't care about _me_.

I snatched my hand back and placed my ice cream on the table, "Like I said earlier, I don't need your pity."

I went back to Flourish and Blott's and bought the first book I saw.


	8. Chapter 8 - The Dinner

Chapter 8 – The Dinner

I spent the rest of the weekend reading my old healing school books. When Monday rolled around I was so happy to be at work I actually was smiling. I could hear the others whispering after I'd walked passed but I didn't care, I didn't have to be alone in my apartment today. At about noon Rodriguez called me back into her office.

"Good morning." I said cheerfully as I dropped onto the chair across from her.

She looked taken aback, "Well it looks like someone really benefited from their weekend off." She winked at me.

I frowned, "Why did you- Oh." I straightened up in my seat when I realize what she'd meant by her wink, "I don't believe that is an appropriate topic for a work place." I said while starring at the wall.

She snorted, "Oh come off it Malfoy. I didn't get any this weekend so the least you could do is tell me about your adventures."

Frowning at her crass behaviour I said, "I read my school textbooks."

Her smile fell, "Excuse me?" I starred at her and she continued, "If all you did was study, when I specifically told you to have fun, then what the hell has your so cherry that you've actually put people on edge?"

I shrugged, "I'm just happy to be back at work."

She starred at me. When I didn't crack she said, "Well then." She paused and frowned, "Malfoy are you okay?"

I started, "Excuse me?"

"Well, I've had people who are married to their jobs. But with you it's like, if you do anything that isn't the job you'll fall apart."

I sat perfectly still but inwardly cursed myself. I was clearly being too expressive of myself. I forced on a small patronizing smile, "I'm perfectly fine I assure you."

She didn't look convinced, "Look I know the war was hard on everyone but-"

I cut her off, "Look I've got a lot of patients, so if that's all?"

She frowned as I stood, "No that's not all- Malfoy get back here!" She called as I left. I quickly grabbed a patient file and ducked into their room. Rodriguez couldn't yet at me in here.

Later that day Fletcher caught me in the hallway, "Hey Malfoy, Granger is here for you." My stomach twisted again. Why wouldn't this girl just leave me alone? I stopped and turned to look in the atrium. I quickly spotted her sitting and reading a book. I went back to reading my patient file.

"What are you doing?" Fletcher asked me. Folding his arms across his chest.

"I'm reading." I emphasized by shaking my folder.

Fletcher cocked his head to the side, "Look, if you want my opinion-"

"I don't." I cut in.

"You should at least go talk to her. She clearly likes you, why else would she come all the way here during work hours? No one that's already here likes looking at your surly expression." I ignored him, "Fine," He said, throwing his hands up, "You don't want to talk to an incredibly hot and smart single woman. I get it. I hate it when that happens to me." He paused and then gave a wicked grin. I looked up from the papers, nothing that came after that look was ever good.

"Maybe _I'll_ go talk to her. I've always been pretty good with the ladies. I can tell her about the kids I've treated today and how it'd be nice to have her beautiful self for company so I won't have to eat alone at dinner. And at the end of the night I'll convince her to come back to my place. Well fumble across my apartment to the bedroom and-"

"Shut up!" I snapped at him, suddenly jealous. I shoved my patient file at his chest and marched off to go see Granger. I didn't see him grinning from ear to ear.

I was mad that I'd let myself be manipulated when I didn't want to speak to her in the first place. Some of my anger had slipped into my tone, "What are you doing here?" I barked at her.

Startled she looked up, "Oh Malfoy, I didn't notice you come over. You know I've been waiting for quite a while. All the nurses I sent back never found you I guess."

"It's a big hospital, I must've missed them." I spat, "Why are you here?"

"I've come to invite you to dinner." She stated.

That took some of the air from my lungs, "What?"

"Ginny has invited you to dinner this Friday at their house as a thank you for checking on James."

I narrowed my eyes, "If _Ginny_ has invited me then what in Merlin's name are _you_ doing here?"

"She's busy with the baby so I offered to bring the invitation."

I sighed and rubbed my face. If Mother found out I had an invitation from Potter and turned down a chance to restore some pride to our name I'd never hear the end of it, "Fine. You can tell the Potter's they can see expect me at 6."

She nodded, "That works, Ginny was planning for 6:30 anyway. Also, Ron and I will be there. And you're welcome to bring a guest." Without waiting for a word from me she turned and left me standing rooted to the spot. Who the hell was I supposed to get to agree to go to this?

Friday night found me and Blaize standing outside Potter's house. I took a deep breath.

"Ready?" Blaize asked.

"Nope." I said.

Blaize turned to look at me, "Why are we doing this again?"

"Because it's a chance to repair a bit of the damage to the Malfoy name." I replied without feeling.

"And why are we actually doing this?"

I glared at Blaize and then marched up to the door and knocked. I heard screeching inside the house. After a moment Ginny opened the door looking slightly breathless, "Oh Malfoy, you brought Zabini." She said, surprised.

"Granger mentioned I was to bring a guest." I said, "I brought you a hostess gift." I gave her the roses I had bought earlier.

"Wow," She looked pleased, "Thank you so much." She smelled the flowers and motioned for Zabini and I to come inside.

"We heard some yelling when we were outside, is everything alright?" Zabini asked.

"Hm?" She asked, "Oh, well you knocked. The one portrait gets upset about noise. And there's a permanent sticking charm so we can't get rid of her." Ginny led us to the kitchen as she told a story about the portrait waking the baby. "Long story short Kreature wasn't happy that I'd tried to attack a black family ancestor."

Everyone else was already in the kitchen. Weasley was sitting at the table, presumably forced to help Granger put everything out, and Potter was at the stove getting ready to serve the food. The whole scene looked odd to me. Why didn't they just use magic? It would already be done by now. Ginny grabbed a vase and put the flowers in the center of the table.

"See Harry? Some men still buy flowers for girls." She teased.

Before Potter could respond I intervened, "Where's the baby? I thought this whole dinner was in honour of him?"

Ginny sighed, "He refused to nap today so he crashed about an hour ago. Kreature is watching him upstairs."

"Besides," Hermione added, "This is more about you."

"Yes," Ginny pipped in, "When we came back you were gone so I didn't get to thank you. The Healer at the hospital was telling me stories at the hospital about babies who've fallen." She looked stricken, "I never thought I'd say this but, I'm actually glad you were there."

Uncomfortable with the sudden atmosphere I nodded at her and sat at the table. Making sure to not be seated near Granger. For an extra measure I made sure to put Blaize beside me.

"I'm starving." Weasley stated, "Hurry up Gin! You don't want your favorite brother to die at your table do you?"

Ginny scoffed, "Like you're my favorite."

The two kept up a friendly banter during the meal, which was surprisingly delicious. I'd been nervous at first, prompting Potter to inform me that he hadn't in fact poisoned my meal. I kept sneaking glances at Granger, who seemed to be ignoring me. I couldn't understand her. One minute she was demanding to see me and the next she was aloof. When I'd been starring too long Blaize kicked me in the leg. After the meal Ginny bullied me into playing a game of exploding snap. But it wasn't long after that Blaize and I left. Outside the house I breathed in the fresh air and just stared across the square.

"That was nice." Blaize said. I nodded. "I'd even go back." He said, I nodded again. "You okay?" He asked.

I closed my eyes and groaned, "Why is everyone always bothering me about that?"

Zabini snorted, "Because you aren't okay." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Startled I turned to look at him.

He sighed, "Malfoy, you got invited to a thank you dinner where you were allowed to invite anyone, or no one at all. But you were raised as a gentleman so you had to bring a guest. A woman invited you so you couldn't bring a female. So you asked me. Besides from the bar and any stuffy gatherings our Mother's plan, we haven't really seen each other since the war. But I'm you're closest friend. You clean up for work and for outings but the rest of the time you let yourself go. Your mother goes months without seeing you, Draco you love your mother, but you're leaving her alone in that giant house."

I rubbed my face in frustration, "What does everyone want from me? I'm a healer, I work all the time! I don't have time to meet people or be at the manor. And on my down time I want to relax and not make an effort!" I exclaimed heatedly. Blaize had his arms crossed and just raised an eyebrow at me. I sighed, "Thank you for coming tonight."

Blaize's eyebrows really shot up, "A thank you? My, you really have changed."

Hermione exited the house to find Blaize and I in the circle. "Oh, I thought you guys would have left by now."

"I was just leaving. Have a lovely night Miss Granger, Draco." And with that Blaize apparated away.

I muttered under my breath, "Figures."

Hermione walked over to me, "So, that dinner wasn't that bad right?"

I nodded once and looked over her shoulder, "I haven't experienced any poisoning symptoms yet."

She cracked a smile, "That's good." She looked at me and pulled herself up straight. Oh great, I thought, here it comes again. But she simply walked closer and laid her hand on my arm, "If you ever decide you want to talk to someone, you can come to me."

My heart started to beat faster, confused I asked, "Why?"

She frowned and removed her hand from my arm, "What do you mean?"

I scowled, "Why are you offering to talk to me? If it's just that you pity me or you feel you owe me then don't hold your breath."

She crossed her arms, "What answer would make you happy?"

I felt my heart constrict at her question. I wanted her to care about me. Unable to find an answer that didn't make me sound desperate, I ended up gaping like a fish. Opening my mouth, only to be unable to say the words and close it again.

She put her hand back on my arm, "Draco, I don't feel like I owe you anything. You gave me a prescription because you're my healer. And I don't pity you like I think you're some pathetic person. You are strong, intelligent, and very proud. But everyone needs someone to talk to. We all went through hell, but at least Harry, Ron, and I weren't forced into it by our families. Every person deserves a chance at happiness."

And with that she stepped back and apparated away. I couldn't tell if I was mad that she'd figured me out so easily, or wanted to step into her embrace and let myself be comforted. This girl was maddening, every time I saw her it felt like she was chipping at my very being, like an exposed nerve. Before Weasley could leave the house too I apparated back to my apartment.


	9. Chapter 9 - The Nightmare

Chapter 9 – The nightmare

"Do it Draco!" The Dark Lord was staring down at me. I felt sick, I did my best to put a mask on my face and fake like I would enjoy this. Mother was quietly standing off to the side, an easy target if I refused his bidding.

I looked down at the muggle on the floor, scared and shaking. Looking every bit how I felt inside. Summoning up my hatred for my Father I pointed my wand and said, "Crucio!" Watching their body contort in sheer agony by my hand. It felt like their screams were bouncing around my skull.

The spell lost power as the horror of what I was doing was sinking in. I couldn't let anyone see how I truly felt, we'd all be killed. Terror and nausea rolled through my body, I could only hope I was passing it off as excitement. As the muggle was panting on the floor the Dark Lord looked at me, malicious glee in his eyes, "Again."

I woke up and I could still hear the screaming. After a moment I realized it was me. Then silence, it felt like it was pressing in on me, suffocating me. I felt ill and shaky. Suddenly I needed anyone in the world to care that I existed. Desperate and upset, I knew I couldn't go to the manor. Not with the memories so fresh on my mind. Mother couldn't handle knowing how it affected me. The next thing I knew I was digging through my jacket and grabbing the paper Granger had slipped in it with her address written down. I put on some clothes and in a few minutes found myself in the most cluttered space I had ever been in. Gryffindor red and gold trinkets were scattered throughout the room. Bookshelves filled far passed capacity lined the walls. Leather and wooden furniture filled the room. The place felt peaceful and inviting, it was what I had wanted my apartment to feel like, a home.

Granger came around the corner and I saw her stuffing her wand away, "Draco?" She asked blurrily, "What are you doing here at 2 am?"

Suddenly wishing I hadn't come I looked down at the floor, "You're right, I'm sorry I woke you. Go back to bed I'll see myself out."

"No wait, if you leave now I'll spend all night wondering what you were doing here and I won't sleep a wink." She gestured to the couches and lit a fire for some extra warmth, "I'm sorry the place isn't more presentable but I wasn't expecting anyone."

I sat down beside her on the couch, "I think your place looks great."

There was an awkward silence. Suddenly my coming over here felt completely ridiculous.

"What did you dream about?" She asked softly, eyes closed and leaning against the couch.

I twisted to face her. She looked so innocent, how could I tell her what I had done? I frowned and she opened her eyes, "Would it help you if I told you about my dream first?"

I shuddered, "No, I don't think it would." I didn't see how the victim's point of view would help me sleep. "Hermione? Have you ever done anything truly awful, to protect someone?"

She sat up straight and nodded, "Yes," She replied hesitantly, "I set professor Snape on fire in first year."

I hadn't been expecting that, "What?"

She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment, "I thought he was cursing Harry! And Harry was about to fall, so I set the bottom part of his robe's on fire. I just needed to distract him so Harry could regain balance on his broom."

I stared at her, "Wow,"

"I know!" she looked thoroughly upset, "And it wasn't even him cursing Harry after all! It was professor Quirrel!"

I burst out laughing. "I can't believe the worst thing you've ever done is set a small fire to the wrong person." She scowled, "I bet no one was even remotely hurt, they didn't consider for even a second to go to Madame Pomfrey. But look at your face! You're so upset." I chuckled again.

"If you're quite finished." She huffed, crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry," I grinned, "Well, no not really. But I didn't mean to upset you further."

She looked sideways at me. She must've decided I looked halfway sincere because she sighed and leaned back against the couch, "So what have you done to protect the people you love?"

That whipped the smiled off my face. I decided to start off easy, with something she already knew about, "I've- Well I tried to kill Albus Dumbledore."

She scowled at me, clearly suppressing her anger, "How was that to protect anyone!?"

I winced, "The Dark Lord was living at the manor. Father was in Azkaban but Mother was with him. He never said it outright but it was implied that if I failed it would mean my mother's life."

Hermione looked conflicted, "That's awful. That whole year, no wonder you looked so skinny and sick then."

I was surprised, "You'd noticed how I looked?"

She nodded, "Harry was obsessed with you. He was convinced you were a death eater. He kept trying to catch you. Every time he saw you he would talk about you and his theories. It took him far too long but eventually he saw the physical toll it took on you." It was silent a moment. She was leaning against the couch again, eyes closed.

"You must be exhausted. Please go back to bed, I'll go home."

I stood but she grabbed my hand, "Please don't leave yet, you haven't told me about you dream."

I swallowed. Her hand was so soft, and she held my hand so lightly. Perhaps she was too tired for a proper grip. She looked so cozy in her pj's curled up resting on her couch, and her hair was everywhere of course. Suddenly I wished I could curl up with her. I shook to clear my head and sat back down. Slightly closer then I had been before. Her eyes were closed again and she was tracing shapes on my hand. I closed my eyes and let myself relax, just focusing on the slight tingling feeling left behind by her light touches.

"Please tell me about your dream Draco." She asked softly. I looked at her to see her looking up at me under her lashes and biting her lip. She was tired and her hair was a mess from sleeping but she looked like she'd been thoroughly shagged. I felt a twinge and shifted to hide any, indelicacies.

Sighing in frustration, for more than one reason, I told her about the boy. How he couldn't have been much older than me, if at all. I told her what I'd been forced to do, and how I was sick for days afterward. Surprisingly, she already knew that Voldemort knew legimency. It wasn't common knowledge, the ministry didn't want to cause panic. I supposed Potter got in on all the top secrets though. Hermione was a very good listener. Despite how tired she felt she gasped at all the right place and added her own comments to the story.

"When I woke up I could still hear the screaming. For a second I thought I was still there, that the war hadn't ended, I just dreamt everything since then. And I just… I couldn't stand to be alone in my apartment." I looked away in shame, as if admitting to my greatest weakness.

Suddenly she hugged me. I froze, "What are you doing?" I asked. I sounded panicked.

"I'm hugging you." She replied dryly.

"But- No." I pushed her off of me and stood up, "Why are you being nice to me? I don't deserve this. I tortured a boy and you hug _me_? I deserve to suffer! I- I-"

She got up and hugged me again. This time I broke down. I put my arms around her and held her like she was the only thing keeping me from drowning. Tears ran down my face.

"Why?" I mumbled repeatedly, broken.

As my breathing evened out I began to feel calmer, but I couldn't face her, feeling ashamed of my emotions. She put her hands on both sides of my face and forced me to look at her, "I think you've suffered enough for the things you were forced to do. You need to forgive yourself Draco."

"How?" I whispered, desperate.

"I'm not exactly sure. But maybe it will help if I forgive you first." My eyes widened, "Draco Malfoy, I forgive you for tormenting me as a child. And I understand that you couldn't help me at the manor, Bellatrix would have killed you if you had tried." I looked down at the scar on her arm and traced it with my thumb. "Is this why you can't stand to hear people say the word mudblood?" she asked.

I flinched and dropped my hand. She nodded, "I thought so."

After a moment I whispered a small thanks to keep my voice from cracking with emotion.

She nodded and conjured up a blanket and a pillow, "I think you should stay here tonight."

Exhausted, both physically and mentally, I just nodded and let her tuck me in on the couch. "Goodnight Hermione." I called as she walked back to her bedroom.

The next morning I heard whispering from behind me in what I had guessed was the kitchen.

"Who is in your living room?" I heard a woman whisper in interest.

"Draco is, so I can't take James right now Ginny. Have you seen his eyes? He could obviously use the sleep."

"But James likes Malfoy! And I'd honestly feel better to have a Healer help watch my baby."

"Yes but then who will watch the Healer?"

"What?" Ginny asked, "Ugh whatever, what is he even doing here?"

I stiffened, waiting to hear what Hermione said. "He just needed a friend." I relaxed, that wasn't so bad.

"Since when did _you_ become _his_ friend?" Ginny's voice was getting loud with each new surprise.

"Ssshhh! Gin! Keep it down!" Hermione sighed, "Since last night I guess."

"What happened last night?" She asked excitedly.

I tensed again, "He came over, we talked, that's it. Honest!" Hermione replied.

"You better hope that's it." Ginny warned, "Could you imagine what Harry and Ron would do to him?"

Hermione groaned, "I know. It's like since Ron and I decided we were better as friends he's decided he gets to pick the replacement. Did I tell you about the last date I went on where they had an auror follow me?"

Ginny laughed, "I thought Harry was kidding about that."

"No they weren't. But Gin I really need you to leave. Draco gets defensive really easily, I don't want him to see you here and think he can't trust me."

"Why can't I be trusted?"

"I never know what's going to set him off. Please just go Ginny."

"Only if you take my son."

"Fine," Hermione groaned, "But only because he's sleeping like an angel."

I heard Ginny leave and Hermione coo quietly to James as she puttered about the kitchen. Deciding I might as well be up I walked to the kitchen and leaned against the wall. I watched Hermione work for a moment. Given how studious and outspoken she was as a girl I'd never pictured her being domestic. Her hair was up in a bun and she had loose comfortable clothes on. She had James asleep in his stroller beside the island and was quietly putting together breakfast. I couldn't hear the eggs cooking so I assumed she'd cast a charm to quiet the noise. Seeing her like this I suddenly wished it was my son and not Potter's in the stroller. I shook my head, _get it together man_.

At my movement Hermione jumped and dropped an egg, "Draco! Oh, shoot!" She stomped her foot. James made a soft sound from the stroller. She froze a moment, but when it was clear the baby wasn't going to wake she grabbed her wand and cleaned up the mess.

"How long have you been standing there?" She asked while turning back to the eggs.

"Not long," I replied, "you know you didn't have to hide Ginny from me."

She shoulders tensed up, "Oh? What makes you think I'm hiding Ginny?"

"Well her baby's here and she isn't," Hermione relaxed, "Please I heard you two talking."

Hermione sighed, "Look Draco-"

I cut her off, "Don't worry about. I was just going to thank you for not telling Ginny about… last night." I squirmed uncomfortably at the memory of crying in her arms.

Hermione smiled at me, "Any time." There was a slightly uncomfortable silence, "Do you like eggs?" She asked suddenly.

I blinked, startled, "Umm… I suppose. The house elves usually make them for me."

Hermione was clearly trying to hold her tongue about elf rights, "You've _never_ cooked before?"

I shook my head. She beckoned me over and she taught me how to make scrambled eggs. Well, she tried. She made me practice breaking an egg, but after the 6th try she gave up on me. This time I'd gotten egg all across the counter, down her cupboards, and partially on myself. She took one look at the shocked look on my face, and she burst out laughing. How was I supposed to know they could explode?

Unfortunately her laugh did wake the baby. Hermione cleaned me up first and asked me to check on James while she finished cleaning. Uncertain what to do I walked over to his stroller and looked down at him. He had such a miserable look on his face and he gave one more sad small cry. I picked him up and sat him on the island, keeping my hands on his sides. Content to watch Hermione cook he happily sat still.

"I guess he just wanted to see what the fuss was about." I commented.

Hermione nodded, "He's a very curious baby. Constantly getting into trouble. Don't take your eyes of him for a second while he's sitting there. I _can not_ give Ginny back a bruised baby."

I nodded, "She threatened me when I was there after he'd fallen. Something along the lines of 'If you hurt my baby I will gleefully dance around your broken body'?"

Hermione laughed, "Sadly you aren't the first to get a talk like that. The very first time James bumped his head Ron was holding him. Once James had stopped crying and Ginny realized he was going to be okay Harry had to steal her wand and physically hold her back. I'm not sure she's let Ron hold him since."

"Wow." I commented. The mention of Ron had me thinking about something else now, "Why isn't Ron here?"

She looked up at me from dishing out the eggs, clearly confused, "Why would he be?"

Embarrassed by my bold question I shrugged, "Well, you two seemed like you were getting together after the war. I remember you too comforting each other."

"Oh," She replied, "we just didn't work as a couple. He wanted to have more kids then I did, I wanted to work and send any children to muggle elementary school."

I frowned, "What's elementary school?"

She answered as she put our plates at the table, "Elementary school is where you go before Hogwarts. Umm…" She looked over at James and I by the counter, "Put James in his stroller and bring him over. I've mashed up some eggs so hopefully that'll keep him happy."

I complied but was still confused, "There's school before Hogwarts?"

She looked at me, startled, "If you didn't go to school, how did you learn to read and write?"

"Father hired tutors." I answered.

She frowned, "But how did you make any friends?"

I frowned back, "Mother's friends brought their children over." Hermione looked upset but just quietly ate her eggs. "What?" I asked, annoyed.

She just shrugged, "Well, you just make more sense now. You spent your whole childhood being told something, and only were allowed to spend time with people who shared that same view. You wouldn't have even realized there was another way to be. Not until you were at Hogwarts anyway."

I didn't know if I should feel offended or not, so I just quietly ate my eggs. The silence was becoming a bit awkward when James decided he'd been ignored long enough and screeched at us. We both jumped and looked down at him and laughed. I didn't think he'd eaten a bit of the eggs Hermione had given him. Instead he looked like he'd covered himself and the stroller. I grabbed James out and Hermione tossed me a cloth to clean him up with while she started work on the stroller. That was when Ginny walked in. She stopped upon entering the kitchen. Seeing Hermione and I chuckling about the mess as I tried to clean the squirming baby.

"Hey Ginny," Hermione said guiltily, "Sorry about the mess. I think I got all the egg from the stroller. I know there's a cleaning charm for it but I couldn't remember."

Ginny still hadn't moved, too surprised by the scene. James screeched at her, trying to escape my hold, and it seemed to snap her back to reality. She smiled at her son and placed him on her hip, "What is in his hair?"

"He got it in his hair too?" Hermione asked, "I don't think he ate a single bite of the eggs I made for him."

Ginny smiled, "That's alright, he already had breakfast this morning. I'm sorry he made such a mess. I didn't think he'd be able to cause that much trouble in just an hour."

"Has it already been an hour?" Hermione asked, "Shoot I'm going to be late." She rushed out of the room, leaving Ginny and I alone.

Ginny started at me. I shifted uncomfortably and then stood up, "Tell Granger I said thanks… for everything."

Ginny nodded and watched me walk away. I'd only just gotten to the door when Ginny rushed around the corner, "Wait Draco! Look, I don't know what's going on between you two, but Hermione deserves someone who can really be there for her. Not just show up when they feel like it."

Stung by her allegation I said, "Hermione and I are just friends." With that I exited the apartment and apparated home.


	10. Chapter 10 - The Dance

Chapter 10 – The dance

It had been a few days since my breakdown at Granger's place. Any time a memory took hold I would remember her starring up at me with her big brown eyes, telling me that she forgave me and that I had suffered enough. Instead of feeling guilt and shame eat at me I would feel my spirit lighten and smile. I was in the hallway, quickly skimming a file when her words came back to me again.

"Look at the cat who ate the canary." Fletcher said.

"What?" I asked.

He waved his hand dismissively, "Something my mother would say. I was just commenting on that sly grin you had on your face. I never thought I'd see the day when Draco Malfoy would be grinning to himself at work." Fletcher beamed at me, "Tell Granger I say hi when you see her next." Before I could reply Fletcher patted my shoulder and walked off. I scowled and walked in to see my patient.

That night after work I found a letter on my windowsill. I sighed, expecting it to be from Mother. Instead it was from Granger. She was inviting me to go with her as her guest to some ministry function. 'I thought we could both use a fun night out – Hermione.' My heart lifted, she was inviting me to go somewhere with her. Strictly as a friend of course, but I was excited. Then my stomach plummeted, I would have to tell Mother. If she found out from someone else there would be hell to pay.

I quickly wrote back to Granger, informing her that I would attend. And then used the floo to go to the manor. I popped out into the entry way, "Mother!" I called. "Mother I need to speak with you!" I heard nothing in reply. Concerned I began searching the manor. When I didn't find her on the first floor I went out to the gardens. The sun was setting and I found her painting under her cherry tree.

"Mother, there you are. I was getting worried when I couldn't find you."

She looked at me confused, "I don't remember inviting you over."

Stung, I said, "Since when do I need an invitation?"

She coolly replied, "Since when do you come here without one?"

That stung too, "Mother, I wanted to talk to you. Tell you something actually."

That grabbed her attention. She put down her paints and took stock of my appearance. "What is it, Draco?"

Nervous about how she would respond I decided to start with the dinner, "Well as you might know I had dinner at the Potter's a few weeks ago." Her eye brows shot up. I guess she didn't know, "They were thanking me for helping treat their son after a fall." Her lips thinned, "It was no big deal. I swear. But I've sort of been talking off and on with their group whenever I bump into them. Um, Granger actually asked me to accompany her to a ministry event this weekend."

I watched my Mother nervously as she picked up her paints and began painting again. "Mother?" I asked.

"Thank you of informing me of your relationship Draco. You have fulfilled your obligation and may now leave."

"Mother." I said, hurt by her dismissal, "I'm not in a relationship with her. She asked me as a friend. I could never date Hermione."

"Oh? And why is that?" She asked as she corrected an error on her canvas.

"Well- I-"

When I couldn't come up with a logical reason Mother turned to look at me, "Draco, as it was so rudely pointed out to me there are no pure blooded women left in all of England that you fancy. So if you wish to date Miss Granger then go ahead. Nothing I could say would have stopped you from doing as you feel. You've never listened to me, not since you were 16 years old."

She didn't betray any emotion but I knew Mother was feeling hurt. I knew she was referring to my moving out as well. She did everything she could to keep me here, "I'm sorry Mother. It's just… too much has happened in this house. You know I was suffocating here."

She sighed, "Yes. The same place where you'd taken your first baby steps was suddenly your prison. But there has been nothing stopping you from inviting me to your place. And not once since I moved you in have you even offered to pretend to cook me dinner."

It had never occurred to me that she would want to come to my apartment. I felt a terrible son, "Come for dinner."

"Draco I do not need your pity. I am perfectly alright on my own, as I have been for a very long time now."

I sighed, "Mother I do not pity you. I miss you. Please come have dinner with me. It can be Friday before the function, and I'll even let you pick my outfit. We won't talk about who I'll marry and when I'm going to sire an heir. It'll be just like when I was young and we just enjoyed being in each other's company."

She stared at me. Whatever she saw she must have agreed with because she nodded and said, "I will be there at 5."

The week at work flew by. Before I knew it, it was 4 on Friday and Fletcher stopped me, "Draco shouldn't you be gone already?"

Seeing the time I cursed and hurried off so I could clean myself up before Mother arrived. She hated the smell of the hospital. I had only just finished pouring two glasses of wine when Mother came through the floo. Hearing the commotion I grabbed the glasses and headed into the living room to see Mother magically removing ashes from her robes. "Good evening, I poured some of the wine that you like." She nodded and took her glass.

She looked around and frowned, "Everything looks exactly the same in here. Draco you've lived here for two years and you haven't so much as put up a picture!"

I scowled, "You're the one that decorated it.?"

She looked at me with exasperation, "Yes I decorated it but I expected it to be different now. I thought you'd have hung up pictures with friends or added your own decorations over time. I decorated it so that when you added to it, it would be homey but still tasteful. This doesn't even feel like you live here."

I shrugged and took a sip of wine, "I spend most of my time at work. I mostly just sleep here."

She looked sadly at me, "And all this time I had thought your work excuses were just you trying to get away from me."

I was shocked, "Why would I try to get away from you?"

She took a sip of her wine before answering, "I thought you were mad at me. For what happened to you during the war. For not stopping your Father when he took his life."

Her words felt like a slap, "Mother, no. None of that is your fault. Father's decisions were his own." The oven timer went off, "I made your favorite, let's go eat."

She nodded and allowed me to escort her to the kitchen. The rest of the meal went well, Mother and I ate in comfortable silence for the most part. Occasionally she would tell me stories about her paintings, or gatherings with her friends. I would tell her stories about my patients that I knew she would find funny. At the end of the meal she called a house elf to clean up and took me into the living room to show me the robes she had brought.

As I was running my hand over the material she told me that it had been my father's favorite dress robes. Startled I looked up at her and she smiled.

She placed her hand on my cheek and said, "You look more and more like Lucius every time I see you."

I was touched, "Thank you Mother."

She then proclaimed that she had to leave for an appointment, but if I had any problems with the robes to let her know. With a brief hug and a promise to have dinner together every Friday night she left.

I went into my master suite and put the robes on, they fit perfectly. I should have known Mother would have had them tailored to me. I remembered the last time I'd seen Father wear this. It had been for some function Mother had put on at the manor. I think I was 15 at the time and Father had seen me eyeing his robes. He smiled at me and ruffled my hair and told me that someday when I was master of the manor I'd get robes just like these. Neither of us would have guessed it would only have been a few short years until that would come to pass. Feeling a little saddened by my past I left for the ministry function.

I arrived and was shown to my table. Hermione was already there. She looked beautiful with her hair curled and pulled to the side. And her lavender dress cut in exactly the right places to be incredibly suggestive. I was so shocked by her appearance that it took me a moment to notice how uncomfortable she looked as some man leaned close to her. She looked relieved when she saw me.

"Draco! How dare you keep me waiting for you! I've been dying to dance since I got here, let's go!" With that she jumped up, grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor.

I smirked at her as I put my hands on her waist, "Well you certainly didn't need much saving did you?"

"I'm sorry?" She questioned.

"You should be," I said, knowing that wasn't how she'd meant it, "I was all prepared to be your Knight in shining armor, and then I ended up as your puppet!" I faked a wounded look, "I mean imagine, a woman asking a man to dance. The shame of it will follow me forever."

She giggled, "Oh yes, we certainly wouldn't want to injure that ego of yours."

I huffed, "Well I was going to tell you how unfair it is for you to look this beautiful. But as we're trying not to inflate each other's egos I suppose I'll just have to keep that thought to myself."

She blushed, "Oh, well. It would have been a lovely thought. Thank you Draco."

I nodded at her and pulled her slightly closer to me. I looked around the room. There were many couples on the floor dancing with us. Most of the people were at their tables or lingering at the bar. There appeared to be a silent auction going on against one wall. The room itself was nice. The gold painted walls went well with the crystal chandelier that Hermione and I were dancing under. My favorite part was the ceiling. It was enchanted so we could see the stars.

Hermione looked up too, "Aren't the stars beautiful? I could watch them all night."

I looked back down and I couldn't help but feel the same way about her, "Yes." I agreed.

The band played a song I recognized and I began waltzing Hermione around the floor. She had clearly never been taught how to dance, so I went slowly and would whisper what to do next in her ear. We were having so much fun I didn't even notice people beginning to stare at us. Nor did I notice my mother watching us from the bar.

Before much time had passed a speaker stopped the band and asked everyone to take their seats. He went through the usually speeches, pointing out the auction and making sure to mention the big ticket donation of box seats at the England Quidditch pitch. I rolled my eyes, I'm sure Mother had already bought the usual seats. He did get around to mentioning the reason for the event, which was apparently to help raise funds for people too disfigured from the war to work. I decided I would discretely give a donation later. The speaker was finished and the band roared back to life. The waiters were circling with trays again and people were moving out onto the dance floor.

I frowned in thought, "Why isn't the rest of the golden trio here?"

Hermione sighed, "We get invited to so many events. So unless it's something we really want to go to we take turns. Usually all three of us do come to this one, but James has a cold so Harry's at home and Ron had to work late so he cancelled last minute."

"So I'm spared having an auror follow me home then?" I asked.

Hermione nearly choked on her drink, "How did you hear about that?"

I laughed at her expression, "I was awake when Ginny dropped James off remember."

She groaned, "Okay, so maybe I didn't tell Harry and Ron that I invited you here. Just as a precaution."

That caught my attention. She didn't want her friends to know she was with me? "And here I thought Potter would be fine with me after I saved his sons life."

Hermione laughed loudly and then covered her mouth. Once people's eyes moved off of her she leaned back over to me. "You looked at a bruise, I hardly think that qualifies as saving a life."

I was about to reply when I saw Mother walking over. Trying to hid my surprise I leaned away from Granger and stood to pull a chair out for Mother.

Granger looked startled, "Mrs. Malfoy, it's a pleasure to see you again."

Mother sat and I went back to my seat, "Yes Mother, I can't believe you didn't tell me you'd be here tonight."

Mother smiled at me, "Well I thought it would be nice to surprise you dear. And it's a pleasure to see you again as well Miss. Granger."

Hermione nodded and took a large sip of her drink. I was a little concerned at her behaviour. "Well Mother, I certainly am surprised. I was just wondering how large a donation to make but since you're here I trust I can leave that to you?"

She nodded, "Of course."

Hermione excused herself to the washroom. I watched her leave, something was wrong with her. She was walking too quickly and kept her head down.

Mother watched me watch Granger, "You should go after her."

I started, "What?"

She sighed, "Hermione Granger fleeing after being with both of us together? It doesn't look good Draco. Go after her."

I rolled my eyes but stood up, "Yes because appearances are everything aren't they." And then I went after Hermione. I found her two hallways over from where the washrooms were. She was sitting down and looked like she was focusing on her breathing.

I sat down next to her and held her hand. She grabbed my hand with a lot more strength than I thought she was capable of. Wondering if you could sprain a hand I whispered to her to focus on her breathing and to think about something else. I began describing a painting across from us. Her breathing evened out as I spoke and eventually her grip on my hand loosened.

"Thank you." She whispered, tired from the exertion.

"How long have you been having panic attacks for?" I asked quietly.

She shook her head, "First."

I nodded, "Well you probably aren't the first person to get panicked by the sight of my mother."

She laughed but it sounded wrong, too breathy for her. "I'm sorry, I must have upset her. I just, I saw her and I was already hot and maybe I've had a little too much to drink or something. I don't know, but I just could hear Bellatrix cackling in my head and I felt like I was in two places at once or something."

She looked at me, and her eyes begged me to understand. I stood up, "Come on, let me take you home."

She nodded and held out her hand. As I helped her up she swayed a little and I pulled her against to keep her from falling. All of a sudden I had forgotten what I had been doing. Her eyes were lidded as she looked up at me, and I could feel every curve of her against me as I held her. All I could think was that I wanted to kiss her. I brushed my thumb over her cheek and she leaned into my palm. I closed my eyes to lean in and kiss her, and then I heard a door bang.

Startled back into my senses I jumped back from her. Looking around I supposed the door I had heard was down a different hallway. Hermione was blinking, looking a little confused. I desperately wanted to close the short distance between us and kiss her until her toes curled. Clearing my throat I offered her my arm and escorted her back to the main room. Mother was still sitting at the table, waiting for us to come back.

I steered us over to her, "Mother. I'm sorry our visit had to be cut short tonight. However, Miss Granger is feeling unwell and I am going to escort her home."

Mother stood to shake Hermione's hand, "I am sorry that we didn't get to talk more. If you'd like to at the next function, you are more than welcome to come speak with me to make up for tonight's short chat."

Hermione nodded, "I'll keep that in mind."

I didn't like how quite Hermione's voice sounded, "I really should get her home safe. I'll see you next Friday Mother." I briefly hugged her and then steered Hermione to the jackets. I put my robe around her and apparated us to her apartment. I sat her down on her couch and started lifting her eye lids. She smacked my hands away.

"I don't need a check-up. I'm just tired Draco. I had a long day at work and I'd really just like to go to bed."

"Oh," I sounded disappointed, "Alright, I'll see myself out."

"Wait, Draco." She grabbed my hand. I had already stopped by then, "I had a good time tonight." She stood up beside me, "Thank you for being my guest." She kissed me on the cheek.

Unsure of how to respond I gave her hand a squeeze, "Thank you for inviting me tonight." I really enjoyed dancing with you." I ran my fingers through her hair, "Please send me an owl in the morning to let me know if you're okay."

When she nodded I stared at her lips, sighed and then left.


	11. Chapter 11 - The Idea

AN: I am currently stuck on this chapter.

Chapter 11 – The Date

The next morning I received an owl from Granger to let me know she was okay, as promised. I sent her back a letter with my address, for whenever she needed to talk. I'd been thinking about what Ginny had said to me, and Hermione did deserve some who could be there for her. You could argue that I was yesterday, but that was more of a right place right time thing. I really wanted to actually be there for here. Feeling sorry for how abruptly we'd left the function last night I decided to go to the manor and apologize to Mother.

I used the floo again and popped out into the entryway. After a short search I found Mother having tea out on the porch with her friends. She looked delighted to see me.

"Draco! Two surprise visits in one week! When did I get so lucky? Come! Say hello to my friends."

"Good morning ladies, you look as ravishing as ever," they all preened at my compliment, "Would any of you mind if I stole my mother away for a quick chat?" They all shook their heads and giggled. I heard a few mutter about me being a charmer as I escorted my mother back up to the house.

"Is everything alright Draco?" She asked concerned.

"Yes everything is fine, I just wanted to apologize again for having left so hastily last night."

"Oh I don't mind dear. She did look quite pale. I'm more annoyed about you lying and telling me that you aren't in a relationship with this girl."

I frowned, "Mother I didn't lie."

She waved her hand at me, "Oh rubbish. I saw the way you two were dancing together. How you two were leaned in and whispering like there was no one else around you. Why did you think I came over? I wanted to speak with the girl that was so obviously in love with my son."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, while trying to reign it in I asked, "What makes you think she has feelings for me?"

Mother sighed, "Honestly Draco you can stop this charade of yours." She stopped and suddenly an annoyed look crossed her face, "Is this why your apartment looks so bare? You spend all your time at her place and your things have gradually been moving over? Oh Merlin, I bet she lives in some cheap 'rent control' place too."

"Mother!" I cried, trying to stop her insane rantings, "I've never even kissed her!"

Mother stood there for a moment before asking, "Why?"

"What?!" I near yelled, my emotions flying high.

"Well you two obviously like each other. So unless she's taken why haven't you kissed her yet?" When I squirmed and mumbled something about timing my mother looked horrified, "Draco Lucius Malfoy! I did not spend years raising a coward. If the war taught me anything it is that time with the people you love is short. So if you really like this girl then go out and get her!" Mother turned around and walked back out to meet her friends. Mumbling under her breath about timing and stupid boys as she exited the house.

I went back to my apartment and spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about what Mother had said. Was it possibly that Hermione was actually interested in me? She clearly wasn't in love with me, mother was off her rocker on that one. But maybe we'd had enough conversations that she was able to see me as more than just an ex-death eater.

I felt panic and hope rise in my chest. Hope that maybe I wasn't beyond redemption, maybe someone could care to grow for me? And the panic of not knowing what to do about it. I'd mostly been a hermit since the war ended. I hadn't gone on a date since I was 16. A voice in my head told me that I wasn't worthy of any one's company, let alone hers. She was fierce and passionate, and far too kind. But a new voice, that sounded suspiciously like Hermione, argued back. I needed to forgive myself and have a life, and shouldn't I let the woman decide if I'm worthy of her?

I felt the hope grow a little larger in my chest as I decided that I was going to do it. I was going to ask out Hermione Granger. The absurdity of the statement made me laugh out loud. I, Draco Malfoy, was going to ask Hermione Granger on a date. I laughed darkly, it was a good thing my father was dead because if he knew what I'd planned to do he'd probably kill himself all over again.

Now I just had to make an actual plan. I suddenly prayed to any god that would listen that this might actually work.


	12. Chapter 12 - The Date

AN: I want to apologize for taking so long since my last update. I know every author does and no one cares. It was just hard to let Draco move on and start feeling better about his life when I couldn't do it for mine.

I spent the week thinking about how to propose a date to Granger. Sure she'd asked me to the ministry ball but it was just as friends. I needed her to see that I was serious. I tried to think of something that would take her mind off of the past and of her current obligations, but all my brain could come up with was a picnic in a library and that was just absurd. The other healers began noticing my distraction as the week wore on.

"What case are you working?" Healer Fletcher sat down across from me with his lunch.

I looked up at him, "Case? What case?"

He looked confused, "If it isn't a case for a difficult patient then what has had you so distracted the last few days?"

Suddenly understanding what he was talking about I looked away from embarrassment, "Oh! Yes. Case. Sorry, I was so distraction I didn't really hear you."

Fletcher gave me a deadpan look, "That was a really terrible lie. Especially by your standards."

I sighed, and contemplated just leaving without telling him anything. Unfortunately Fletcher was one of the only people who actually spoke with me and I really didn't fancy burning the only person who treated me okay. "Fine, there's this girl-"

"Miss Granger." He not-so-helpfully supplied. When he saw my glare he raised his hands in surrender, "Sorry."

Frustrated at being so easily read, and trying not appear flustered, I continued, "This girl I want to ask out." I could see Fletcher's eyes snap to me in surprise. He clearly wanted to say something but given my earlier reaction was struggling not to. Smart man. "She's rather... bookish. And I can't think of anything she might enjoy." I paused momentarily before confiding in him, "The last time I asked a girl out we went to Honeydukes on a Hogsmeade weekend."

Fletcher cringed, "Seriously? That long?"

Offended I glibbed, "Well having Voldemort living in my home was a real turn off for a couple years there."

He flinched and took a bite from an apple. After a tense moment he replied, "Yeah I guess that makes sense. Why not ask one of her friends for help? They'll know what she likes."

I instantly barked out a loud laugh, startling the tables beside us, "Oh yes. That'll go well. Hey Potter, I know you hate me and think I'm worse than the scum on your shoe but do you mind helping me to woo Granger? Weasley would burst a vein and have an aneurysm." I paused as I thought about that, "You know that wouldn't be so bad maybe I will ask him."

Fletcher rolled his eyes, "You took an oath not to harm people. And I didn't mean them exactly. She must have some girl friends who'd be excited to help."

I thought it over. The Weaslette, or Potter now I guess, probably wouldn't be completely against it. She might even be so glad to talk to someone over 1 year old that she'd even be desperate enough to help me. Only one way to find out.

My lunch break the next day found me outside the Potter's place desperately trying to think of any last minute ideas so I wouldn't have to stoop to this. Still turning up nothing I cursed my useless brain and knocked on her front door. After a minute Ginny answered, wearing an apron and covered in food.

"Draco?" She starred at me in shock with a ladle in her hand and her wand stuck in the front pocket. I was glad she didn't see me as enough of a threat to have grabbed for her wand instead.

"Hello Mrs. Potter. How are you this afternoon?" I asked politely.

She starred at my suspiciously, "I'm fine... How are you?"

Trying not to sigh I answered, "Actually I could use your help. May I come in?"

After a second of thought she moved aside and lead me to her kitchen. After we both had a tea and went through the required small talk I finally got to the point of my visit.

"I need your help asking Hermione out." I felt calling her Granger wouldn't have swayed Ginny to my side.

She had unfortunately been about to take a sip of tea and was now coughing up a lung. Once her throat was mostly clear she croaked out a simple, "What?!"

I tried, and failed, not to smirk at her reaction, "I said I would like your help in asking Hermione on a date. I've tried to think of what she would like but everything I could think of wasn't good enough." I decided to leave out how abysmal my dating history truly was. I didn't need to embarrass myself further.

She starred at me like I was insane, "But she's a muggleborn."

I tried not to feel hurt, after how I'd been during school and how little Ginny had interacted with me she couldn't know I wouldn't still be disgusted by that. "Your point?"

She gaped at me, and then slammed her mouth shut, "Nothing. I was just under the impression the muggleborns were scum that weren't worth even licking your shoes clean."

I flinched at her words. I was a child who'd been brain washed by my family, how was I supposed to know better? "I thought given your words in Miss Grangers flat the other day you would have been more accepting of my intentions. It seems I was wrong." I stood up to leave, "Good day."

Ginny grabbed my arm, "Wait Draco. What are your intentions? Because I'm not helping you torture her or just get in a lay before you cut and run."

At least she was considering helping me. "I want companionship." I attempted to leave all emotions out of my words.

"Companionship? That's all?" She starred at me, trying to determine the truth.

I decided not to tell her that the image of Hermione cooking breakfast with the baby had been seared into my brain. "That's all."

She nodded, "Okay then."

The next night found me outside Hermione's apartment. Thanks to Ginny's help I had managed to keep the whole plan a secret but still have Hermione be ready on time. Incredibly nervous I took a deep breath and knocked on her door.

"I'm almost ready Ginny!" I heard her call through the door, "I just can't find my shoes!" I heard more fumbling from inside the apartment, "What are you still doing outside? You can come in!" She yelled.

I took one last deep breath and entered her apartment. It looked exactly as I'd remembered it. I don't know why I was expecting it to appear any different just because I felt different.

"Oh," Hermione stood at the entrance to the living room, "You aren't Ginny."

I smiled. She looked beautiful. Her hair hung down her back in loose curls, and she was wearing a short black dress. It pulled in at the middle and seemed to flare out at the bottom. Seeing her in it made me think of how it felt to have her pressed against me just a couple days before. I cleared my throat and explained, "No, actually Ginny helped me plan a whole evening."

Her eyebrows shot up, "A whole evening? I suppose Ginny isn't throwing a dinner party tonight then?"

I shook my head, "No she isn't. I was hoping you would like to come to dinner with me instead. On a date." I stood nervously, watching her as surprise flitted across her face. "I understand that this is a little sudden so I'll give you a minute to think about it. When you've made your decision I'll be out in the hall."

I turned toward the door, "Are those flowers for me?" She asked, timidly.

I looked down at my hand. I'd been so nervous I'd forgotten the flowers. I turned back to face her, embarrassed by my fumble, "Yes actually. Ginny told me they were your favorite."

She walked forward and took them from my hand. She lifted them to her face and breathed in. A smile, albeit confused, split across her face, "They're lovely."

"I'm glad you like them. Put them in a vase. I'll be waiting outside."

I closed the door quietly behind me. I could hear some banging around, presumably looking for a vase. I was starting to get nervous about how long she'd been gone for, would she stand me up? And then the door opened.

When I'd turned to face her she smiled and said, "I talked to Ginny."

I tried to keep my emotions in check, disappointed she didn't want me, "Oh?"

"Yes," she smiled at me. Why would you smile at someone you're turning down? "Ginny told me all about how you came to her house last week and have spent all your free time planning this evening for me."

I swallowed, wanting my voice to be even, "You deserve a good distraction, that requires planning."

Hermione smiled at me, "So if I go with you what will we do?"

I felt hope lift in my chest and gave a small smiled despite myself, "I was thinking a carriage ride and dinner in muggle London."

She eyes widened, " _Muggle_ London?" I shrugged, trying to down play how badly I wanted this dinner. She starred at me for a minute before nodding. "I'd love to have dinner with you." I felt a grin spread across my face. "Am I dressed alright?" she asked.

"You look lovely." I held my arm out to escort her out of the building and down to her horse drawn carriage.

We went to dinner at a new Italian place that just opened. Hermione gasped when she realized where we were going.

"I've been dying to go here for weeks! Did Ginny tell you?"

I shook my head, "No, I love Italian food. I figured if you said no I'd come here and pretend I was stood up for a free dessert."

Hermione smacked my chest, "You're terrible!"

The restaurant had a very elegant feel to it. The wait staff was very friendly and clearly well trained.

"Order anything you like, I'm paying." I told her.

Hermione scowled at me, "I am perfectly capable of supporting myself you know."

I sighed, "I know, but I am taking you out and it's customary for the man to pay."

She frowned, "Fine, but don't expect me to let you pay again."

I smiled. She had said again, she was already thinking about date number 2. I watched her frown in concentration as she read the menu. When she glanced up at me I quickly looked back down at my menu and read the first thing I saw.

"Can't go wrong with the tortellini I'd think." I looked back up and saw her smirking at me. She knew I'd been starring and wasn't fooled. Thankfully she didn't comment on it.

"I suppose it's a rather safe option."

The night went well. The food was terrible and we both struggled to say anything good about it. Finally we both realized the other hated it and went to a fast food place as she was starving and proclaimed that she wouldn't survive another block without food. She was surprised I knew what one was much less how to find it in muggle London. I shrugged it off and we giggled seeing everyone stare at us. It's not every day a horse drawn carriage stops at fast food I guess.

All too soon we were back outside her door.

With one hand on her door knob she turned around and smiled at me, "I had a great time tonight Draco."

I broke into a grin, "I'm glad." After a seconds thought I continued, "I was rather worried you would say no to this date tonight."

She put her hand on my arm to comfort me. If only she knew how badly I craved such comfort. "I wasn't sure what I was going to say at first. But Ginny talked me into it. To be honest though I've been communicating with her most of the night."

"How?"

She looked down and removed her hand. Slowly I reached out and held it. "When we were in school we had that club you helped break up. To communicate with each other we had these coins. Ginny and I have a sort of code so we can talk. Essentially I spent the night telling her what was going on every once in a while. I always do on a first date, she insists. It's better than having Harry follow me anyway."

I was surprised, "That's rather strong magic for you isn't it?"

Hermione straightened, "Well I can do magic just as well as everyone else. Good night Draco."

Before I could stop her she slammed the door in my face. My heart fell, that wasn't what I'd meant. Depressed I apparated to the park and back to that river.


	13. Chapter 13 - A new feeling of low

I starred at the river. Once again wishing I could take the worst parts of myself and let them flow away. I had no idea how long I'd been sitting in my misery. Thinking that no matter what I do, no matter how many patients I heal or how many charities I fund people were always going to think the worst of me. Suddenly I felt both hatred and understanding for my father. Hatred for what he'd done for my family and understanding for his death. Why on earth would I want to spend the rest of my life being rejected by everyone I'll ever meet?

Suddenly I was torn from my thoughts by someone sitting next to me. I glance over and saw Potter.

"Why are you sitting with me?" I asked glumly.

He starred at me, "Hermione came over. Apparently she had a date with you that my wife helped orchestrate in my own home without me knowing. She seemed very upset by something you said at the very end of your date. So I went by your apartment to give you hell." I raised an eyebrow at him, "I'm an auror Draco I have access to everyone's addresses. But I didn't find you there. And you weren't at any bar I could think of. Suddenly I get an owl from a rookie auror that you're sitting by the river and they aren't sure what to do. No one's ever been in the park on their duty- lucky bastard- and they don't know if they can arrest you or not."

I huff, of course everyone wants to arrest me given just the slightest opportunity.

Harry continued, "So i get here and send the kid home. Still ticked but slightly worried I may have to pull you from the river. And I lay my eyes on the sorriest sight I've seen in quite some time." I looked at Potter, offended. "And I have a one year old son who is really just an expert at making pout faces."

"You know Potter I'm surprised no one's tried to off you yet."

We both paused at what I said and he burst out laughing. I quirk a tiny smile. Who would have thought I could make the boy-who-lived-to-annoy-me laugh. He laid back in the grass. "Oh I needed that laugh."

I stared at him in the following silence.

Feeling my gaze he looked over at me, "I'm a married man Malfoy. Ginny sees you moving in on me and not even I could help you."

I squeeze my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose, "You know Potter, some people see someone sitting alone at night as a way to be _alone_."

Harry rolls his eyes, "What? Did you have a bad night Draco? Mummy didn't have the house elves leave out new sheets for you?"

I stood and pointed my wand at him as he lay beneath me in the grass, "GO TO HELL POTTER! For your information I don't live at the manor because I couldn't take it there anymore! I'm not as heartless as you people think and every time I go into that damn parlor I can still hear her screams echo off the walls! I give to countless charities and I even became a healer! What more do I have to do to get you people to see me!"

I felt completely unhinged. Harry just starred at me. Not with shock, not with fear. Just as if he were waiting for me to tie my shoes or some other mundane activity. Eventually I came back to myself and lowered my wand. Embarrassment rushed over me as I realized the things I'd admitted in my anger, and even worse as I realized he'd intentionally riled me up and I walked right into his trap.

Harry stood up and patted my back. "Now tell me what happened with Hermione."

Going to the Leaky Cauldron with Potter and talking about my night was possibly a new form of torture in and of itself. Even worse then our school days given that he's an auror and has learned a how to gain information without screaming and threatening. I grinned a little to myself thinking that as he'd aged Potter had become more Slytherin in his approach with people.

After I explained what had happened with Hermione and how sorry I was she'd taken it the wrong way Potter seemed to be in pain.

"What crawled up your ass Potter?"

Potter looked upset, "I came out tonight looking to give you hell for what you'd done to Hermione. Instead I've discovered that you aren't actually half bad am now considering helping you."

I perked up a bit, "Really?"

He scowled, "Don't look so cheerfully Malfoy I'm still not decided on it." He sighed and rubbed his face. "Look, it's late. Let's both go home. You send Hermione dozens of apology letters otherwise she'll just burn them without reading it. And I'll attempt to talk to her and tell her your side of the story." I must have looked too happy because this was immediately followed with, "And if I you ever hurt her I swear to god Malfoy you'll wish you had died in the war do you understand?"

I stood up from the bar and scoffed, "Please Potter I wish that most days." With that I popped back home to write at least one dozen apology letters. Praying she'd at least talk to me again soon, I didn't know where to go if I had another nightmare without her.


	14. Chapter 14 - The Apology

(AN: I wrote this part so I could better figure out what Draco would be doing. From there it became its own mini-chapter and I didn't want to delete it. Draco doesn't have a lot going on this week (when does he ever) so the story has more going on on Hermione's end.)

Hermione was asleep in the guest room when Harry came home, and then was gone before he woke up. As he wanted to get defending Draco over with so he wouldn't have to think about it anymore he decided to take her out for lunch that day.

Harry walked up to her cubicle and knocked lightly on the "wall". "You know, if you joined us aurors we'd give you a real office." He teased her, and not for the first time.

Hermione smiled, "Harry you know full well that I can make more of a difference working on the laws themselves."

He nodded, they'd had this conversation a lot. He just missed having her on his team. "I was wondering if I could take you out to lunch today. I feel like we haven't talked in a while."

She brighten at the suggestion, "That sounds wonderful! I'll just put these away and grab my umbrella."

Harry waited until they were at the restaurant and their food had arrived before breaching his topic, "So... I talked to Malfoy last night..."

Hermione raised her eyebrows at that, "Oh, and what did he have to say for himself?"

"He seemed genuinely upset. I found him at that stupid river again. But I pushed him and he went on about how he's trying to be a good person. And I think he genuinely meant it. Becoming a healer is no small thing, and he's legitimately been trying to help you right?"

Hermione sighed, "I don't disagree with you Harry. But the fact of the matter is there's still a part of him that thinks muggleborns aren't good at magic simply because of their parents. I deal with that every day at work, trying to change all these outdated laws and fight against prejudice. I don't need to deal with that in my own time too."

Harry nodded, "I get that. And I didn't hear what he said so I can't judge. I'm just saying that maybe because of your history together it's easy to think he means one thing when he really means another?"

Hermione thought on this for a moment, "I suppose you have a point. But it really felt as though he was being prejudice."

Harry nodded, "So talk to him about it. See what he has to say. If you don't want to continue seeing him that's fine. But I think you'd be happier if you heard his side of the story before completely making up your mind."

Hermione was quietly thinking it over. She smiled, "You've become a lot more mature recently. Remember when just the sight of him would have you blasting curses at each other?"

Harry smiled at the memories, "Ah, yes. Unfortunately I'm an auror now so I'll get in a lot of trouble if I tried that again. Plus I'm a father, I think it's mellowed me out."

Hermione smirked, "It's still so weird to think of you as a Dad. I still feel like those little kids who faced the troll together."

Harry laughed, "Yeah. Being a parent is exactly like facing a troll."

They had a good chuckle at that and the rest of their conversation moved to how James was doing.

That night when Hermione got home she found multiple letters from Draco. She'd worked late to make up for her lunch with Harry and the owls got bored of waiting for her. The most peculiar one being found on her living room floor covered in ash. She was unsure how the letter managed to get so far from the fireplace. Shaking her head she began reading, they all went roughly like this:

 _Dear Ms. Granger,_

 _I am sorry that what I said last evening caused you any offense. It was not my intent and I am deeply aggrieved. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me._

 _Regretfully,_

 _Draco Malfoy_

She sighed as she read the letters. They were so formal that they didn't feel like he'd written them. She couldn't even tell if he knew what he was being sorry for. She briefly wondered if he had a stack of apology letters at his apartment and just filled the names in for whoever he'd upset. She decided she wasn't ready to hear his story out yet as he didn't seem properly upset by it.

This continued for a few days. She could now recognize Draco's owl and left it a little water dish and a bowl of treats by the open window. By Wednesday the letters had stopped completely. They were scattered around the house, depending on where she'd ended up when she finished reading them, and each time she saw one she became increasingly irritated with them. Such ridiculously vague and formal letters. By Friday she was finally irritated enough to confront him about it. Grabbing the address he'd given her before, she hopped into the floo.

*** (Draco's POV)

I looked at mother at the sound of the floo. The only person I was expecting was Mother and we were already eating dinner together. I signaled her to stay put as I pulled out my wand and quietly walked toward the entryway. Before I got there I heard a soft voice call, "Draco?"

I felt a new kind of anxiety rush through me. Sure there wasn't any threat now. But Granger had come to my apartment. I really wasn't expecting that. Shouldn't she be returning my letters before she just shows up unannounced?

"Draco?" she called again, slightly louder. Cursing myself for standing still too long and praying mother didn't come to investigate I took a breath, stood up straight, put my wand back away and went to greet her.

"Hello Hermione, I'm glad you came over." More confused and irritated with her ignoring me. But showing that wouldn't get me anywhere.

"Hello Draco." She replied, coolly.

My heart fell, she didn't seem moved by anything I'd written. "Have you read my letters?"

She gave me a blank look and then rolled her eyes, "Of course I read them. Very formal and vague. Do you even know why you're apologizing to me."

I frowned at her, confused. "What are you talking about?"

She studied my face before replying, "I just want to know what you're sorry for. In every letter you apologize but you don't say why. Is it for what you said or just that you upset me?"

I felt irritated, did she honestly think I'd meant it how she'd thought. "Obviously I'm sorry I upset you. I didn't mean it how you took it. I meant for you as in a 15 year old, NOT as a muggleborn. And honestly after everything, being your healer and coming to you at night, after everything we've talked about. I'm hurt you thought I would think less of you because of your blood status. Maybe I'm not the only one who should apologize."

As I saw everything I said click into her brain, and watched her expression change to one of guilt, I tried not to feel smug. It wasn't often I had the moral high ground.

She nodded her head, "You're right. I may have jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry Draco. Next time I'll ask for clarification."

My heart lifted a little despite my irritation, "Next time?"

She smirked at my expression, "Yeah. Maybe next weekend we could try this again?"

I smiled lightly, "That sounds lovely."

After her demanding she plan the date this time _"As a proper apology for my overreaction"_ she left and I went back to my dinner with mother. She had a suspiciously blank look on her face. I suspected she'd been listening in, but I knew better than to try and get her to admit it.


	15. Chapter 15 - The dinner

I was glad that Hermione and I had gotten over our little spat. Two days later I'd had another nightmare and went to her apartment. She brought out pillows and blankets and curled up on the couch with me to help me calm down. I held her and tried to distract myself by reading all the titles of the books on her shelf to relax me. I soon found myself puzzling over who this Shakespeare man was she had so many works from. I looked down at her and realized she'd fallen asleep in my arms. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, so much more relaxed then any version of herself I'd ever known. Not wanting to wake her I shifted us so we were laying down on the couch. I made sure her feet were covered by the blanket and then I slowly drifted back asleep as I watched her breathe.

The next thing I knew there was a blaring noise and an elbow in my bladder. I groaned, and heard a muttered apology followed by running steps. Delirious from lack of sleep and missing her warmth I curled back up under the blankets to hide from the noise. Suddenly it stopped and I was just drifting off again when something poked me in the arm.

"Draco wake up." She whispered. I grumbled and buried deeper into the blankets. I didn't want to get up. I was tired and still feeling drained. I briefly contemplated using one of my sick days and just laying in bed all day. It's not like I need the money.

"Draco come on. We have to work. It's 7, I don't know what time you need to be at work by so I'd like to hear you say something snarky like _I like my eggs black, like my soul._ Just so I can tell that you're awake enough to process thoughts."

It took a minute for her words to sink in. When they did I turned to her and she laughed at my expression of utter confusion, "Did you just say black like my soul?" I asked incredulously.

She giggled even more, "Yes. I'm glad I got your attention. It's 7 am and we need to get ready for work. I'm probably going to have cereal for breakfast, what do you normally have?"

I was torn, part of me wanted to go back to my apartment and have the house elves make me sausages and eggs, but I also wanted to stay and spend more time with Hermione. Mostly I just wanted to stay curled up on the couch but I knew she'd never let me skip work just because I was depressed. I sighed and gathered up my strength to sit up. I told myself if I went to work I could have the house elves sneak me a better breakfast while I was going over my files for the day. "I'll have cereal with you."

She raised an eyebrow at me, clearly put off by my lack of enthusiasm. "You don't have to stay. I'd understand if you wanted to start the day off at your own apartment."

I felt butterflies in my stomach as I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. "I hate cereal." She laughed at my confession, "But I would really like to stay and eat with you."

She smiled at me, blushing a little, "Okay, how about oatmeal then?" I shrugged. She ran her hand along my check as she left. My skin felt warm where she'd trailed her fingers. I closed my eyes and then suddenly remembered that I still had to pee from having had an elbow shoved in my gut.

The rest of the day I felt sluggish and I had to keep bribing myself with thoughts like ' _We can buy some cake for dinner tonight_ ' or ' _We can check to see if the Weird sister's album is out once I've gotten through five more patients_ '. It concerned me slightly that I'd slipped into a "we" pronoun when talking to myself in my head. Deciding I was dwelling too much on this I sent Blaize an owl to meet me at the three broomsticks after work.

I arrived first and nearly collapsed into a booth. I was essentially taking a nap on the table when Blaize arrived. "Hard day?" He asked. I didn't even have the energy to move. I mumbled into the table and felt a sting on the top of my head.

"Ow! You fucker." I sat up glaring at him as I rubbed my head.

He grinned devilishly at me, "Your mother taught you better than to have your head on the table."

"Fucking stinging jinx though? Really? Why'd I even ask you to dinner?"

He shrugged, apparently not caring the answer, "Beats me, you're paying right? I'll have the lobster."

I starred at him in disbelief, "Blaize you idiot they don't have lobster here."

He grinned, "Exactly, means it'll cost you more for them to make it."

We bickered back and forth until we ordered, thankfully I convinced the waitress to bring Blaize a steak instead of a lobster. He waited until I took the first bite of my dinner before he asked, "So you shagged Granger yet." I nearly choked on my food.

After a minute of coughing and struggling not to spit my food everywhere I managed to wheeze out, "What?"

He laughed, "Well I saw that article about you two at the charity event a few weeks ago. So clearly things went well after I left you two outside of Potter's house. I'm going to assume you've fucked it up since then though given that you nearly sprayed your dinner everywhere."

I took of sip of my drink to help level out my voice, "You waited until I was about to swallow specifically to get that reaction you bastard. And no I didn't _fuck up_ anything. I'm ju-"

Blaize cut me off, "Tsk, tsk, that's not what your mother told me."

"I- What- you- What did my mother say to you?!"

He shrugged, "Oh just that you had been grovelling for a week for forgiveness. Something like that."

I moaned and dropped my head to my hands, "There was a slight misunderstanding. But Hermione apologized to me as well. It wasn't just me," I sighed in defeat, "I knew mother was listening in."

Blaize laughed, "Of course she was. Narcissa almost has a web of spies involved around you. You thinks she's not going to listen in on a conversation about your life and happiness? I pity the woman that marries you. For _so_ many reasons."

I gave Blaize a blank look, "I may never talk to you again you know."

Blaize laughed, "Of course you will. Who else will spy on your mother for you? Besides I did know it was actually Granger that blew up. I'm just teasing you. I still can't believe you haven't shagged her yet though. What are you waiting for?"

I cleared my throat and suddenly became very focused on my dinner, "Maybe a first kiss would be good. Ya know, before anything else."

Blaize's jaw dropped, "You haven't even kissed her? Does she even know you're dating?"

I glared at him, "Yes she knows we're dating. In fact she's planning our second date as we speak. Apparently it's on Saturday afternoon. The timing worked out perfectly actually as she wants to meet about an hour after my volunteering is done anyway."

Blaize's eyebrows rose higher with each sentence, "You really have changed a lot Draco. I know we haven't really spoken much in the last few years but I'm almost sorry we didn't now."

I smirked, "Yeah I know. I'm irresistible."

Blaize snorted, "Clearly not or you'd have been with Granger by now."

I rolled my eyes at him. Sex wasn't everything. I mean don't get me wrong I wouldn't say no if she offered. But it wasn't a race, we'd get there eventually.

When Saturday arrived I felt nervous. I really wanted this time to go better than last. I was glad I was busy in the morning to keep my mind off of it. I kept thinking that I was going to say or do something to mess the date up again. I had myself wound up so tightly that I jumped when the floo roared to life.

"Oh good Draco you're ready! You're a little too dressed up for what I had in mind for today. Have you ever been to a muggle fair before?"

I had been so thrown by her sudden appearance that I missed half of what she said. "I'm sorry?"

She smiled and nodded her head, "A muggle fair. They're like wizard ones but they have different rides and what not. Plus the cotton candy is delicious. I don't know what wizards seem to have against cotton candy but you're going to love it."

A fair? "Will I need a jacket?"

"No, I went for a bit with my parents this morning. As long as the rain holds off you'll be golden. You may still want to change into more comfortable pants."

I shook my head, "I'll be fine." I held my arm out for her, "Shall we go?"

She smiled at me and we disapparated.


End file.
